Lucknow






"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.  For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body"

2 Corinthians 4:7-11

A couple weeks into our time in Benares my roomate and I were each sitting quietly on our beds, when she turned to me excitedly -
"Mishaela! You have to hear this, I read this passage this morning, and you just have to listen to it - it's just so perfect!"
Slightly startled, I turned to face her. The passage she read to me was 2 Corinthians 3:7 - 4:18. As she read His inspired words to me, I got goose bumps. The passage so perfectly spoke to the place and situation we found ourselves in at that time. To this day I struggle with articulating the impact it had on us.
Fast forward about four weeks and our small 8 person team minus one (she stayed behind in Benares for the reminder of her time in India) boarded a sleeper car headed for Lucknow. We were tired, stiff, and overheated when we arrived, nevertheless our spirits were high. Within hours of our arrival our coordinators ran us through a crash course of the plan for the next month, passed out cheap cell phones, and loaded us up into Taxis and/or Rickshaws with separate destinations. My head was spinning by the time we arrived at my hostel (like an off campus girl's dorm for college students). I was completely overwhelmed as my coordinator introduced me to my hosts and then led me up to the flat roof upon which stood the tiny room that would be my home for the next 4 weeks. The room was furnished with 3 small-ish metal lockers, two small end  tables, and three hard palets all pushed together in the center of the room. The two end tables were alread fully occupied with three different Hindu dieties and incecence ready to be lit. I attempted to put on a brave face, but inside I was terrified. How in the world was I supposed to live among these people who were so different than me? How in the world was I supposed to gain their trust and emulate C*hrist to them when I felt so very incapable?

"...But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." (2 Cor. 4:7)

 



Several of my Hostel mates in Lucknow

I don't know that it ever got easier. I have never felt so completely inadequate for a task as I did in those four weeks. I reached out in the best way I knew how. I turned stories of myself and my mysterious western ways into stories of my S*avior's love and power. I was able to fully share the G*ospel a couple times, to a captive audience, who were intensely intrigued by the  way in which I lived my life. I gained the admiration and bewilderment of many. However, none of that is to my credit. None of those things came in the absence of my sinful self choosing games of snake on my hand-me-down cell phone over sharing His story with the lost souls surrounding me. None of that came to the absence of tears of desperation and exhaustion instead of trust and hope. None of that came with the absence of my inadequacy. As a matter of fact none of it really came from me at all.

 

During the majority of my time in Lucknow I lived with two other Indian girls - a Muslim, and a Hindu. One evening as I was practically 'preaching' myself into trying to engage these girls in some form of meaningful conversation (keeping in mind language barriers were a fairly significant hindrance with these two). I sat quietly while they whispered in rapid Hindi, every so often casting their eyes shyly in my direction. Puja - the older of the two - finally turned to me with a perplexed look and said, "Mishella, tell me - you are so good. Your nature is so good. You are so different," while the younger Muslim girl nodded her head emphatically. Looking down I simply replied, "No I am not good - I am selfish and weak, any good you see in me is only my Jesus." Well if I wasn't a confusing character to them before I certainly was after saying that. After a few minutes of trying to talk me into claiming my own goodness, the younger girl said softly - "This Jesus, you love him very much." My heart broke with in me, knowing full well that I had done nothing in and of myself to leave this impression. I was at my weakest point before them - a far cry from accurately protraiting my Father. Yet some how they saw Him in me.

 

"...But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." (2 Cor. 4:7)

 

 

Shalini, Me, and Anamika - two of my hostel mates sightseeing

I've struggled for months searching for a way to share what that India was like, and how God has used it in my life - this is the best I've come up with so far. Those four weeks were probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I cannot attempt to explain why sitting around and talking with people all day was so extremely exhausting - emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I can only point to the One who got me through it, and praise Him all the more for the work He has accomplished in and through our team. Those four weeks are probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I've often commented to one of my team members since our return that I think the Lord sent each individual of our team to India for different reasons. For some it was to spread his fame. For others it was to broaden their understanding of His work in the world. For still other it was to knock them over the head and remind them of who is God, and who/what is not. While it was probably a mixture of those three for all of us, I believe I fall predominantly into the later category. India has changed my life, and I pray it is for the better. I still keep in contact with a few of the girls from my hostel in Lucknow, but I know that the effect I had on their lives while I was there was minimal. I can only pray that seeds have been planted, and cling to hope knowing that He who has begun a work is faithful to complete it, and the His Word does not return void. Whatever good may come of our time there - to Him be the glory. PTL. 

 

Our last day in India - the Lucknow Team + Coordinators

 ~Shaela