I do genuinely long for a day when I will get to show my American friends the home in Brasil that I so cherish, but realistically I know there's very little chance of that happening with all of them - and definitely not simultaneously.
In her book Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot shared a prayer from a time in her life when seemingly unattainable dreams and desires threatened to overwhelm her.
“My heart was saying, “Lord, take away this longing, or give me that for which I long.” The Lord was answering, “I must teach you to long for something better.”
Now I'm going to do something my Bible profs would have failed me for in college, and take this out of context. But since Elisabeth Elliot quotes are a few steps short of the inspired Word of God, I think I might get away with it. Elisabeth wrote that quote in reference to longing for a relationship with a man who eventually became her husband - but I'm finding that it applies to more than just that.
A couple nights ago I was sitting in the bedroom I grew up in staring at the wall, trying to swallow the lump forming in my throat at the thought of leaving again. On this particular wall there is a collection black and white pictures taken all around the world during my most recent years of travel - beautiful scenes from Spain, India, Italy, and France among others. Each of these places are attached to many fond memories, but as I looked at them I knew that of all those incredible places and all the places that I someday hope to go to - the place I was sitting in, my home, was better than all of them. I never wanted to leave. But I'd be lying if I said I hadn't left of piece of me in California with the people who have made up my family away from family for the last three years of my life.
As I sat there in my room, with wet cheeks and that pathetically familiar homesick ache in my stomach it dawned on me that maybe God is trying to teach me to long for something better.
In the Christian community we ridicule the 'American dream' a lot, looking down on those whose life goal is to get the next best thing. I wonder if that desire isn't built into us. If we're honest we all want something better than this, because I think we all know it's supposed to be better than this. We get off track when we try to create that 'better' for ourselves through software updates, extreme home makeovers, and plastic surgery, but we are not wrong in longing for something better.
The something better is Heaven - it's just that most of humanity denies that that's the 'bigger and better' they're looking for. As much as I long for the people I love to join me at my home, I think that God has denied me that pleasure in order that I might long for the home He's preparing for me. Someday I will have my dearest friends and family - my brothers and sisters in Christ - with me in a place that is far exceeds my greatest hopes for this life on this earth.
The prospect of having the regenerated, restored versions of the people I love now in a place completely unmarred by the atrocities of sin so far outweighs my lackluster dream of reuniting sinful people in a specific corner of a dying world that I can't help but feel giddy with anticipation. And that's definitely something bigger and better worth the longing for.
Come Lord Jesus!
